Filed under: Complaints, Like a rolling stone | Tags: beautiful, dumb, marshmallow, vanilla
Just tell me I’m not who you thought I would be and mean it in the nicest way.
Is it so wrong to want both worlds? Are we at some point in our lives supposed to decide: do I want to be smart or do I want to attempt to be beautiful? Or is this decision already made for us?
It’s so childish and immature. I want both. I want to be taken seriously and I want people to be shocked at my intelligence. That sounds ridiculous when worded like that.
When did I turn into such fluff? I am a vanilla person. Just a huge vanilla marshmallow cloud. Kids love me, stoned boys love me, but as cute and delicious as I may look–there’s not a five star restaurant in the world serving vanilla marshmallow fluff for desert. I try and try. I keep current with world events. I have an adequate vocabulary. I can speak for five minutes and never once use the word “like”.
It’s not enough. I feel like such an idiot, constantly. I realize I’m not gorgeous, I know that. But I also know that I very much look like the wholesome girl next door. That’s a nice way of saying that I look ignorant.
It’s disappointing to realize, that’s all. What more can be done? I am putting my best effort out there, I really am.
Filed under: Like a rolling stone | Tags: beatles, hippy, madness, society, worry
Have you ever noticed how much smoother things seem to run when left alone? The natural flow of things always runs nearly flawless, but it seems humans have a nasty habit of trying to correct the very minor details.
It’s just a shame that we can’t let anything be. Whether it’s relationships, nature, weather, agriculture, it does not matter. We have fixed everything.
We have picked apart every minor personality “flaw” and named them psychological diseases. Essentially every single alteration we have made to food has only been harmful–to us and the environment. With all of the artificial things we surround ourselves with, we are just killing ourselves. And it’s continuously escalating. There is no end insight.
Will we just continue to pick apart everything until we ruin it all? Will we regress into a prehistoric-like society, like selfish cavemen?
Has the modern altered world simply made us miserable?
I only have twenty-one years behind me so it is impossible for me to know if the present is any different than the past. Maybe people have always been this angry, but part of me finds this very hard to believe.
We’re all taking life too seriously. Don’t mark me off as some crazy hippy, but if we take a look from the outside of everything, it won’t seem so important.
Maybe we really shouldn’t take life so seriously. We don’t get out alive and we might as well enjoy what there is.
Maybe the Beatles had it right, let it be.
Filed under: Like a rolling stone | Tags: floods, Iowa, Iowa City, river, sex and the city
Today was a very strange day though not for any reason in particular. I walked up to Dubuque Street to see the true extent of this flood and it was impressive. To understand how deep the water is or the true destruction it has caused, you would probably have to be familiar with the Iowa City area, but I’ll post these anyway.
The last photo was taken on Friday and there has been more flooding in that area since.
Anyway, it was strange to sit on my porch this afternoon and enjoy such a beautiful day when five blocks away, there was a natural disaster. If it weren’t for the occasional circling news-copter, I would have forgotten entirely about the flood.
I ended the day with a long marathon of Sex and the City. I’d like to hate the show, I really really would, but there’s just something that draws me in. Anyway, more than one episode of that and I spend the rest of the evening in a very strange mood. I think it gives me the desire to behave a little less pathetically. I’d hate to think that somewhere, someone believes that all women behave that way. We don’t. We don’t always talk about sex and we’re not all hung up on past relationships. And we certainly do not all obsess over marriage.
I will however, very willingly, spend $10 to go see the movie.
I am currently sitting in the flooded Iowa City. Five blocks away, the Iowa River is slowly creeping into this little town and it’s leaving me with a feeling of claustrophobia. It’s natural , obviously. There’s one exit left to the interstate from this side of the river and once you’re on that, there’s not much of anywhere to go.
It’s quite maddening.
There’s nothing much to be said other than that.
