Filed under: Complaints, Like a rolling stone | Tags: beautiful, dumb, marshmallow, vanilla
Just tell me I’m not who you thought I would be and mean it in the nicest way.
Is it so wrong to want both worlds? Are we at some point in our lives supposed to decide: do I want to be smart or do I want to attempt to be beautiful? Or is this decision already made for us?
It’s so childish and immature. I want both. I want to be taken seriously and I want people to be shocked at my intelligence. That sounds ridiculous when worded like that.
When did I turn into such fluff? I am a vanilla person. Just a huge vanilla marshmallow cloud. Kids love me, stoned boys love me, but as cute and delicious as I may look–there’s not a five star restaurant in the world serving vanilla marshmallow fluff for desert. I try and try. I keep current with world events. I have an adequate vocabulary. I can speak for five minutes and never once use the word “like”.
It’s not enough. I feel like such an idiot, constantly. I realize I’m not gorgeous, I know that. But I also know that I very much look like the wholesome girl next door. That’s a nice way of saying that I look ignorant.
It’s disappointing to realize, that’s all. What more can be done? I am putting my best effort out there, I really am.
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